Five basics to better communication skills!

Being a good conversationalist is not an easy task as conversing is a tactful process that needs extensive thought, knowledge and capability. The good part of this art is that it can be learnt if a few aspects are put into place. Thus, in order to be a good conversationalist, here are few basics that one needs to keep in mind…

Clarity: this is the golden rule that one has to follow while having what we call a “fine conversation”. Clarity in thought, clarity with words and most of all clarity in diction is necessary. Delving into the above characteristic, I would say it is always advantageous to gather up your thoughts before making a statement; as you’re sure not to fumble, if you follow this concept. Secondly to be clear with your words the point to remember here is: the key to a good conversation is not showing off your vocabulary skills. On the contrary an excellent conversation is one which is simple and easily comprehendible by all around you. Thirdly, the fact about being clear in your diction is a very vital aspect you need to consider. Your diction encompasses your way of talking style, your accent, the way you pronounce words and above all the way you punctuate your sentences whilst talking. This is an attribute one really has to look into. Begin by talking at one pace, basically without racing in your words or sounding monotonous. Pausing for a while when you talk is important. Just make sure you pause and don’t take stop gaps! Pronunciation is something that one needs to learn at a very young age. You need to know your phonetics to win this battle.

Knowledge: a fact that cannot be discounted especially when you’re communicating. A skillful conversationalist is one who can talk over a wide spectrum of topics. In order to excel in this medium, one needs to be well read. Being well read does not tantamount to mugging up the newspaper or being a bookworm. Keep your ears open; know everything of your surrounding and try not being oblivious of facts of life or the world around you. This should be more than enough to sail you through a conversation. The other way of doing this is accepting the fact that you are not an authority on everything, so learn to listen and grasp information from others and their conversation.

A good listener: as after a conversation starts, to keep it going well, one has to listen at times too. All the talking cannot possibly be done by you. Taking a back seat while conversing is beneficial. An asset of a mature conversationalist is to listen and chip in only at an appropriate time, when you will be heard and your opinion will create a further basis to continue. Listening also helps in understanding the topic and giving the other party an equal platform to voice their opinion. This shows great maturity on your part, as you are allowing and respecting somebody else’s opinion. A conversation is not a soliloquy; it is a discussion where like-minded as well as people with different opinions are saying their thoughts out aloud.

The skill of kick starting a conversation: It is by far the toughest aspect of conversing as it needs a special trait called confidence. Beside confidence, choosing the right topic is also an art. One should be aware of the audience one is dealing with. Once that is done, hitting upon a topic is not tough at all. If you come across someone you are meeting for the first time try and start off with the usual topics: career, hobbies and schooling. After touching upon these topics it will be easier for you to gauge what are the interests of the person and then you could start a conversation. On the other hand, conversing with a person you know well should not be a problem, as you could hit upon any topic of discussion. Another aspect to remember is to choose a topic that has potential to discuss. Whenever you start a conversation, see that the topic is known and bit controversial. This can have many views and is sure to help in keeping the conversation going and interesting.

The art of being heard: In order to do this, never state the obvious, as the obvious never draws attention. State an aspect that is a bit far fetched, this always draws the listener’s interest and gives you an opportunity to be heard. Also try sticking to the topic of discussion; don’t rush into changing the topic. If you don’t know the topic, be patient and listen till an aspect of your interest crops up. The key to be heard is to use your attributes correctly. Be sensible when it’s needed and witty when it’s called for. Once you seem to have got your way with words it becomes simpler to converse. A vital trick to remember is never be impatient whilst proclaiming your thought, don’t cut somebody else while talking, that is bad manners. Wait for your turn and then speak your thought.

Besides these five points, judging body language and making eye contact invites conversation and showcases confidence. So try and implement these while conversing. The essence of being of a conversationalist is never being too personal, unconventional, silent or dismissive. The bottom line is realizing that everyone else is looking for a good topic. So make everyone as comfortable as you can!